Yet at the same time, I lust for him. Like so badly.
I get upset when he refuses to make love.
And when he cancels our RENDEVOUS because of something else.
And, it's always me that's asking for it.
You know, when he asks for it, I am so YES!
And when I ask for it, he's like "projects, baby, i got tons of work to do!"
Maybe because I 'lost' our baby.
While I was having him/her, he was at my every beck and call.
He was the one who urges me to get rid of it.
Now that it's truly gone, he's treating me worse than I ever could imagine.
It's like he doesn't care.
But love. It's too strong it blinds reality.
And lust. I hate that word.
Maybe I shouldn't have posted this. It should go under Depression.